The Courage to Face One's Own Dark Face — Subrata's Story

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The Courage to Face One's Own Dark Face — Subrata's Story

✍️ Dr Prodyut Acharya  |  📅 25 September 2026  |  ⏱️ 9 min

"One who knows one's own darkness understands the value of light."

Let me begin with a question.

The side of your mind that you do not want to show anyone — what is it?

Perhaps an old anger, which still wakes up in the middle of the night. Perhaps a failure, remembering which makes you want to hide your face in shame. Perhaps a fear, which you have never been able to tell anyone.

We all hide this part. Because it seems — this is weakness. If this is shown, people will belittle us.

But in more than fifteen years of looking at people's hands, listening to their stories, I have understood one thing — the part we hide the most, that is our greatest teacher.

Subrata's story is of that realisation.

Subrata — The Man Who Always Smiled

Subrata is an old acquaintance of mine. A teacher by profession, close to fifty in age. In any gathering he is the loudest — he has stories, he has jokes, he can make everyone laugh.

But one evening he came and sat alone. The Subrata of the gathering was not there that day. There was another — one sitting quietly, a man with tired eyes.

I said — "What happened?"

He said — "Dada, I am not a good person."

I was surprised. I said — "Meaning?"

"I have smiled before everyone all my life. But inside, inside... I have envied many. I have wished harm on many. I never told anyone."

A silence descended on the room.

What We Hide — That Is Our Weight

What Subrata said, that is a matter of courage. Because most people do not say this even to themselves.

We all carry a "shadow" within the mind — made of our fear, envy, greed, the anger of non-fulfilment. The philosopher Carl Jung called this part the "Shadow Self" — that side of the mind which we suppress thinking it unacceptable in society's eyes.

But this very suppression is the problem. Because what is suppressed is not destroyed — it keeps growing inside. And one day it comes out in an unexpected moment — in the form of anger, in the form of depression, in the form of illness.

Subrata had worn the mask of laughter for fifty years. Inside had accumulated a tiredness — which he himself had not properly understood.

What Astrology Says About This Darkness

In astrology, Rahu is that planet who governs the unsatisfied, unacknowledged sides of our mind. Rahu is never satisfied, because he represents those desires which we ourselves do not want to acknowledge.

And Saturn is that planet who compels us to face ourselves. In Saturn's dasha a person often becomes alone, breaks down. But this very breaking is actually the time for the old mask to fall off.

In Subrata's Kundali both these planets were active at that time. Saturn's Sade Sati was going on. Outside people saw Subrata becoming tired. Actually Saturn was pushing him towards himself.

The mark of this matter also falls on the palm lines. In Subrata's hand the heart line was deep but marked with breaks in places — this kind of line says that the person is complete in emotion, but is accustomed to suppressing that emotion himself.

The Conversation of That Night

I asked Subrata — "Whom did you envy?"

He was a little startled. Then slowly he said — "Those who got easily. For whom everything came effortlessly. I had to struggle all my life — seeing that struggle, no one ever said you did well."

I understood. Under the envy was a thirst for recognition. And under that thirst was a small boy — who never heard from his father "you did well."

This is the real darkness. Not envy, not anger — a small wound hidden underneath.

"Subrata, do you know — what you have said so far, that is not proof of weakness. This is proof of courage."

He remained silent.

The Path of Facing the Darkness

What I have learned from Subrata's story, that is not only for him.

First — Accept. The side of your mind that you consider "bad", first accept it. If you deny it, it does not go away, it grows in hiding. In Vedanta philosophy it is said — if you run from truth, truth does not leave you alone.

Second — Ask. When anger comes, do not say "I am an angry person." Say — "Which of my expectations was not fulfilled at this moment?" When envy comes, say — "What is it that I actually want which I am not getting?" Behind every dark emotion there is an honest question.

Third — Do not embrace the mistake to your chest. Subrata had hidden his envy year after year — out of the fear that if he admitted it, he would have to hate himself. But admitting a mistake does not mean punishing oneself, it means liberating oneself.

Fourth — Do not carry it alone. That day when Subrata spoke, I saw a trace of lightness on his face. Because the weight decreases when shared. It can be a trusted friend, it can be an advisor — one who will listen honestly, will not judge.

Where Subrata Is Today

After that day Subrata came again — a few times. We talked, I saw his Kundali, saw his hand.

Gradually he understood — at the root of his envy was a craving for recognition, and that craving is not at all shameful. Every human wants someone to say — you did well.

Today Subrata smiles as before. But now there is no mask behind that smile. The difference is small, but one who has seen from close understands.

One day he said —

"Dada, nowadays I feel — the me whom I hid the most, that me I now know the most."

This is self-development. Not being beautiful from outside — being true from inside.

The Five People of This Series

In this series we have seen five people.

Ananta taught — one can live with whatever one has. Pradip taught — if you cling to what you do not have, even what you have slips away. Satya Kaka taught — even having everything, if there is no shelter, life is incomplete. Manas taught — anger breaks relationships, but under anger lies expectation. And Subrata taught — if you do not know your own dark side, you never fully know yourself.

Six different lives. One single truth —

"The greatest courage of a human being is to face oneself. And the one who attains that much courage, there is no more darkness in his life — because he has learned to see even darkness in light."